Do people ever really change?

Well lets clear one thing up right now...since I strive to keep it real with all of you ladies out there in cyber world. The title is deceiving - I don't mean "people," I mean men. So, now that we have cleared that up, do they?

I know we have all had the blast from the past, the ex that you just can't get out of your head and off your mind, the one that reappears like an ugly pimple every 3-4 months or at the very least twice a year. Why do we always feel the need to give it one more try? Why is there always some soft part in us that says well just maybe he has gotten his act together? Maybe he has come to his senses and knows that I am the best thing out there for him????

I don't know the answer...but I do know that its a vicious cycle that is hard to break. I am firm believer in change and strive daily to become a better person and be better than I was yesterday, so why shouldn't I believe that others are working just as hard as I am to improve themselves. I wouldn't want someone to deny me a second chance to do better...to get it right...so why should I deny someone else that opportunity.

HHHMMMMM - well there is a difference between a second chance and then a third, fourth, fifth and so on and so on. And, change takes time and more importantly, it takes acknowledging that you have faults and that you have made mistakes and then seeking the help or solutions to repair the things...or people you messed up. And, it also takes work - you must be willing to put in the work.

So, with that said I guess the way you tell if it is worth giving it that good ole one more try is to look for signs of growth and change. Has that person put forth any effort to move towards change? And if you cant see that for sure, then are they at the very least acknowledging their shortcomings and do they have a plan for moving forward? If they haven't even put the wheels in motion, you need to run and run fast. And please, don't fall for the okey doke - don't let them tell you all the wonderful things they have done since you guys split. Look for it, test the waters and feel it out - you should be able to recognize change...the presence of it alone should be felt. If you cannot feel it or see it, then its the same old thing and no need of wasting your precious time on their intent or potential to change.

I guess the answer is people can change, but few do. So always be willing to allow for change, but don't waste too much time trying to find it. If it still walks like a duck, looks like a duck and quacks like duck...then its still the same old duck that you left or parted ways with for a reason. Therefore, let sleeping dogs lie and keep pressing forward!

ENTITLEMENT

My, my, my how a little education, a decent job, a nice outfit and some expensive shoes can make us feel like we are on top of the world and entitled to treat others any way we want. When did you get to be so big that you have the right to expect others to do for you, when you want, and how you want? When did you get so far up on top that others should give to you...just because of who you "think" you are?

Ladies, never, never forget who you really are and more importantly, that but for the grace of God you might not be who you are. Be confident, secure and strong in knowing who you are, but be careful not to cross that line into self-righteousness. My mother use to always say, "to me you are the world, but in this world you are one little bitty dot..." Don't ever forget that you too are a mere human and no one has to or must give to you or do anything for you. Don't ever get so big on yourself that you forget to be polite, respectful and considerate. Don't ever get so full of you and decide that you have the right to judge and ridicule others. Be proud of who you are and what you've grown to be, but always, always remain grateful...for remember, you did not get there alone - there were others that helped you and blessings that came from above to guide and strengthen you along the way.

Stay Humble!