Went to see the movie "Our Family Wedding" today. As you may know, its about an African-American man and Mexican woman getting married and their families are all torn up about the race/ethnic thing. Movie wasn't that good, but as usual it got me to thinking about my "singlehood" and my new quest to broaden my horizons.
I recently adopted the idea that I would not only limit myself to my race/color (which happens to be black/African-American) for dates, relationships, etc. Now, I cant honestly say that I have become totally comfortable with the idea, but I have adopted it and trust me...this is a big step for me.
So what does this mean? Will I automatically be/can I really be attracted to men of other races? On the big screen, I can name several that I wouldn't hesitate if the opportunity ever arose to date them, but can't really say that I have ever been attracted to anything other than "black men." Why??? I don't know...they have only led me to a lot of crying and heart break (talk for another day), but can't really say that I have ever been out and seen a guy of a different race across the room and had that tingly feeling run down my spine.
Why is that? Does love really have a color for each individual? Why am I struggling with this? Why isn't it just coming naturally? I don't have anything against any other race, nor do I have any problems with interracial dating. I just have never been attracted to any other kind? Is this normal or am I just that shallow???
What color is love?
I am women,
ReplyDeleteLove should not be any color. I would venture to say that when the right man comes along, you will know and it wont matter what color he is...However, I cant be certain because I too am still seeking LOVE and unlike you, I have not even adopted or considered "brodening my horizons." I luv my black men - LOL.
I have ventured over to another race (white) and i can tell you this...while at times it was fulfilling and loving, there a just some things a GOOD black man can provide a black woman that instills in us security, confidence, and support. My ex-white man, did not understand the pressures that are connected with the black race in america, or any other minority, and thus it caused anxiety in our relationship. If i were to complain about a "black experience" he wouldnt understand, and it left me insecure about whether he could ever be a lasting partner. I need someone that will support me, no matter what, and without that level of "black experience", there was a void in exactly how much he could support me. With that said, i am still open to any race, God has for me what He has for me...and i refuse to limit myself because it's socially acceptable. I just hope that my blessing is a black family.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your input TLW. Wow, I guess I never thought about it in that perspective. I'm so busy worrying about whether I can be attracted to men of other races and maybe whether I can or not is not the real issue. Maybe the real issue is, can men and women of different races meet the needs of each other in all aspects. Can you really understand what the person is going through, if you haven't gone through it????
ReplyDeleteI love that you are blogging! It's great therapy, isn't it? Of course, I have thoughts on this topic - they are here - http://productoffeminism.blogspot.com/2010/08/love-and-race.html.
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